After a difficult labour resulting in an emergency C-Section I suffered from a severe disc prolapse in my spine caused by a problem in the SI joint in my pelvis. I was in constant pain for over a year, sitting or lying down made the pain worse so I spent as much time as possible on my feet, and despite being on a cocktail of drugs I would wake with pain every 2 hours at night. I had expected being a mum to be tiring but this was something else!
The worst thing about it was the feeling that my daughter was missing out on having a 'proper mummy' and that I was missing out on being one. I couldn't bath her, I wasn't supposed to pick her up (yeah right!) and I couldn't sit with her on my lap. The combination of pain, tiredness and painkillers also didn't make me very fun to be around! My back pain was also a real mental battle for me as I'd have a few days of feeling well and then suddenly would be worse than ever. I felt like my life was on hold - I couldn't go back to work, or even think about having another baby.
I am very blessed to have wonderful friends and family who supported and encouraged me, and a gorgeous, independent little girl who didn't seem to notice or care that mummy was in so much pain! I also have a good friend who is an osteopath and she was treating me regularly which really helped - Praise God for that provision, as I could not have afforded to pay for the treatment.
One Sunday recently I was supposed to be leading the kids work at church but on the Friday night I had a particularly bad episode with my back and was unable to do anything but stand and cry for nearly 36 hours. One of the other kids work leaders covered my session but asked if the kids could pray for me. "Yes Please!" was my reply. So the 7-11 year olds gathered round, laid hands on me and prayed faith filled prayers that Jesus would heal me. I can honestly say I haven't had any pain since that morning. I didn't feel like I was completely right, I still didn't have very good mobility and I was still quite lopsided. The issue hadn't resolved but the pain had most definitely gone!
The following week Julian Adams visited TKC. God gave him a word of knowledge that someone in the room had a problem in the left side of their hip that was causing severe pain down the leg. That was me! He prayed for me and I knew that God had healed me. I stopped taking all my medication and put it to the test! That week I put my back though all the tests I could think of, the worst trigger had been driving - so I drove for 3 hours!
My osteopath said my back is perfect...
Another week down the line and I am still pain free, not only have I been bathing, and holding my daughter, I've been playing rough and tumble on a bouncy castle with her! I do not feel stiff, or limited in anyway. I have peace that my healing is complete and I can move on with life (I'm even starting to feel a bit broody!) My osteopath (not a Christian) said my back is perfect - even better than it was before I had the problems!
At times over the last 16 months I have felt frustrated and angry at God. I had been prayed for numerous times and not been healed, I don't know why not or, indeed, why this time I was. But I have learnt a lot, I know that whatever my circumstance, God is good. I've learnt that my health is not my right, and God owes me nothing, He's already given me His everything. I've become much more aware that there are a lot of people living in daily pain, and grown in compassion. I know that my Father God knows me and cares for me and His plan and His timing is perfect. I know my God heals.